If you’ve been trying to accomplish something of some kind, then I’m going to tell you exactly how you can…
“Quickly and Easily Learn How To Do Something Related To Your Niche, And Get Amazing Benefits Of Some Kind – Quickly, Easily, And Something Else!“
From:
Dear Friend,
This is it…
This is your sales page, so you probably want to change this text. I’m just making this stuff up to show you what the text will look like on the page. It’s really not going to say anything amazing.
In fact, I don’t know why you’re still reading this at all!
Here’s why…
I already told you this is just placeholder text — and these are just more random words! Seriously, why are you still reading this?
Maybe if I start using that “ipsum dipsum” stuff, you’ll stop reading this, and start working on your real sales letter. Still reading? I warned you…
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliqui.
Amazing! You’re still reading this stuff? I guess that means…
You want even more gibberish? Alright, here it is!
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.
Now, let me explain what all that “ipsum dipsum” stuff is used for:
Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry’s standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book.
It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularized in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.
And I’ll admit it, I totally ripped that off from another website. But, I can’t believe you’re still reading this.
You Should Be Writing Your Sales Letter!
If you keep reading this, you’ll be:
- Wasting valuable time that you’re never, ever going to get back. How sad would that be?
- Wondering why I even bothered writing any of this. After all, it’s completely and totally pointless.
- Well, at least you’re going to see what a bulleted list would look like on your sales page. I guess that’s something.
- Go talk to someone. You really need some help.
That didn’t work? Well, then I’m going to have to take matters into my own hands. But first …
It’s a Purple Headline!
That’s pretty cool, right? You can make your text any color you want. Like red, or blue, or green, and yes, even hot pink! I wouldn’t suggest using randomly color headlines, but if you’re feeling frisky, go for it!
You can even embed a YouTube video if you want to. And, since you obviously have time to waste, you’ll love this:
image credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jonathanbeard/3307862416/
I’d suggest you use something a little more appropriate on your own sales page, but since this letter is all kinds of random, I think that picture works. Now, that being said …
It looks like I’m going to have to force you to stop reading this page!
So, how am I going to do that? Well, we’re finally coming up to the order section. Maybe that’s why you’re still reading. Maybe you wanted to see what the order button looked like?
If you wanted to know that, you could have just clicked here!
It’s fake call to action time! So, here goes…
“Everything Sounds Great, How Much Is It Going
To Cost To Join This Totally Make Believe Website?”
Well you’ll be pleasantly surprised with the cost. And how do I know that? Well, it’s simple …
I know you’re going to be thrilled because you’ve been reading a sales page about nothing for well over 4 minutes now! And if you’ve made it this far, it’s pretty obvious that it doesn’t take much to entertain and impress you!
Woo-Hoo! That paragraph had two sentences ending with exclamation points! And this one does too! (or, make that three)
Ok, no more messing around. It’s time to ask for some money …
The Fake Website is a complete waste of time, but for a limited time you can take advantage of our 14-day trial for only $2.95!
Once your 14 day test drive is up, you can continue wasting your time in our completely blank members area, getting nothing at all, wondering what you’re spending your money on, and the many other benefits of membership for just $19.95 every 30 days…
Or, simply cancel your membership and never be charged again.
And best of all, you don’t risk a single penny either because the order button should be linked to your PayPal account! We also have an:
Iron-Clad… No Questions Asked…
Money Back Guarantee!
We promise nothing. I mean, what were you expecting? This is just random text after all.
And, to prove it. How about this?
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat.
Yeah, totally random!
So we promise absolutely nothing — or you get your money back. Actually, we’ll refund your money immediately for ANY reason if you notify us within 90 days!
The truth is, we’re not sure why you’d order anything from this placeholder page. It’s really just to show you want the text looks like, and you could have seen that with just a quick scroll.
But we’ll take the risk and provide a prompt refund if you’re unsatisfied for any reason.
That’s our promise!
So if you’re ready to test your order button, there’s bad news! You can’t send money to your own PayPal account, it’s not possible, but you can try it anyway!
“Yes, I want instant membership access to this website. I know I should be working or something, but I’m still reading this.”
I understand that I’ll get nothing all all on a monthly basis starting at $2.95 for 14-days. After 14 days, if I decide to keep my membership I understand I’ll be charged the low monthly rate of $19.95 from there on out.
I know I offer a no hassle money-back guarantee which allows me to try out this placeholder website, for 90 days totally risk-free.
The Person Who Just Read This Whole Page,
P.S. Wow, you really made it all the way down here? Have you heard of this thing called the Internet? There really are a lot more entertaining things to do with your time. Maybe you should check out FailBlog?
Take advantage of this opportunity to stop reading this page, and do something productive right now!
P.P.S. Remember you shouldn’t join this website today. But, if you do, you’re backed your very own iron-clad 90 day money back guarantee just in case the membership is not to your satisfaction.
What do you got to lose? After all, you should have entered your own PayPal email in the admin area, and you do trust yourself, don’t you?
Click Here To See The Order Button Right Now!
P.P.P.S.You know what’s even sadder than you reading all this? The fact that I wasted nearly 30 minutes writing it, and then I went back through it and made a few revisions. Let’s both hang our heads in shame together. 